There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Greetings, earthlings, time lords, and Daleks! Let's dive into the cosmic chaos that is your planetary retrograde forecast.
Mercury is currently chilling in Capricorn, probably trying to organize its rock collection. Expect a sudden urge to label everything and break out the excel sheets. Don't fight it, just let it happen. #OrganizedChaos
Oh, and Venus, our beloved planet of love, has decided to take a vacation in Sagittarius. This could mean you're feeling a little more adventurous in the love department. So go ahead, slide into those DMs, or write a sonnet to your crush. Whichever floats your spaceship. #ShootingYourShot
Meanwhile, Mars is also hanging out with its buddy Mercury in Capricorn. A double dose of Capricorn energy? Brace yourself for some intense productivity and a sudden interest in climbing literal or figurative mountains. #GoatMode
Jupiter, the big guy, is lounging in Taurus. This could mean a sudden increase in your desire for comfort food and Netflix marathons. Not that we're complaining. #ComfortZone
Over in Pisces, we find Saturn and Neptune. A strange duo, indeed. Saturn might have you feeling a bit more serious and reflective, while Neptune will encourage you to dream big. Try not to get lost in your own head. #DeepSeaDiving
Uranus is joining Jupiter in Taurus, adding an extra layer of stubbornness to your day. Don't be surprised if you find yourself in a standoff with a vending machine. #StuckInMyWays
Finally, we have Pluto in Capricorn. Pluto's influence may prompt you to evaluate what needs to be transformed in your life. Just remember, change is good. Even Daleks upgrade their extermination strategies from time to time. #TimeForChange
Well folks, that's all for this planetary retrograde update. Always remember, in space, no one can hear you scream...unless it's scream-laughing at these horoscopes. Until next time, keep reaching for the stars!
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